"My Newest Apologia!"

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Motivation:

1 Peter 3:13–18 KJV 1900
And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:

I. First Impression

Look wealthy enough that they don’t think you are going to ask them for money or a sale.
If there is time, look shmancy enough in comparison, that they feel good you have chosen to speak to them specifically.
Always wear your wedding ring.

II. Prep. Body Language

Eye contact. Note color of their eyes. keep shoulders back, Keep your open hands visible, and point your feet towards the person.

III. Start the conversation!

Your smile is your opening line! (Smiling is submissive behavior.)
Then, straight into: “Hello, how are you?” (Speak clearly, with relaxed authority.)
If they respond: “Pretty good thanks.” or “Fine thanks, how bout you?”
‘You know, I’m doing great: I’m married to my best friend, I have three amazing kids, a maltese poodle, and a good job.”
(You now need to state your intention very soon.)
If they respond: “What kind of work do you do?” or “Where do you work?”
“I’m a preacher...I pastor a church off the freeway in Rohnert Park, and I’m also a Foreman for a Data cabling company.” I like to work!” “How bout you?”
(Give them time to respond and listen. Be interested and tilt head to show that you are interested.)
“So, I made God a promise a few weeks ago, (Gesture to your heart area.) that I would choose at least one person a day and talk to them, be friendly, encourage them, give you my card and invite you to church or a Bible study.... So today, you are the victim of my enthusiasm!”
“I’m Jonathan Louw. What’s your Name?

The Close!

To end a conversation, use the “Future Mention.” For body language, you can pivot outward, point a foot outward then follow it when you leave.
“Are you looking forward to anything this weekend? “Thanks for talking to me. I hope your (Insert activity is great.)
“Listen, if you find yourself with a free Sunday, we’d love to have you visit the church and I promise you will be treated like VIP’s because to us and to God, everybody is very important!”

A few things to remember:

Embrace your imperfections! People relate to other imperfect people.
Don’t monopolize conversation. Listen to them!
Show your hands, they are trust indicators!!!! Use them when talking.

Notes on hand gestures

When you speak a number, use your hands to show that number. i.e. “Three kids.”
Use “Increase/decrease.” gesture with one hand for small, both for big, like the size of a diamond vs a caught fish.
When speaking of something emotionally important, gesture to your heart area. This tells people: “Pay attention,” this is important to me.”
Divison. Use your hands to help people keep track. “This group” (hold them in your hand.) “Says so and so. Whereas, this group (other hand,) says such… You can bring things together with your hands too!
Emblems. A OK, Thumbs up, etc. You, me, we. Gesture to you, to me and then us!
Use “The Steeple.” to increase you credibility. It speaks of confidence

Notes on general body language.

Spotting shame: lightly touch the forehead. (Almost like a face cover.)
Blocking behavior is putting a barrier betwen me and the person or subject or topic. folded arms or object.
A sign of engagement is a slight head tilt. illusrates interest. Also, lifted eyebrows.
Mouth block illustates that we are trying to withold something.
Raising your eyebrows gets the attention.
Use the “lean in.” when communicating something special.
Use the head tilt to show that you are listening.
Use movement to increase your presence. if for example talking to a group.

There are seven universal micro expressions:

Disgust: Show upper teeth and draw up nose as if smelling something disgusting.
Anger: The two lines between the eyebrows which themselves are oriented downward
Sadness: Corners of the mouth move down, bottom lip comes out, as a precursor to crying.
Happiness: More than a smile! In fact, the best visual indicator of happiness is activating the upper cheek muscles. (Only one in ten can do it.) Fake happy is smile only, no upper cheeks.
Fear. Defensive posture. Open eyes and lids very wide (to better take in danger.) Also, mouth opens wide. (enables you to take in more oxygen, fight or flight.)
Surprise: Raise your eyebrows high as you can and drop your mouth. This is the longest vertical expression.
Contempt: A simple one sided mouth raise.
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